just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
