My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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