Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize