yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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