She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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