This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
