its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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