My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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