Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
