This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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