Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
