Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
