Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Sober January is a disaster.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
