I should be sponsored by Trojan
please come you make the beer taste better
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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