Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
