I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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