she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
