I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
