we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
