He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
