My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
