Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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