glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
