What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
