Got a toothbrush?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dick very happy bro
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
