I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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