There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
