i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
