I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
