Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
