come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
