Your tits are I can't wait for
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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