I can tuck mytits in my pants
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize