I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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