We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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