I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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