remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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