Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
