dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
