wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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