My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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