bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
