I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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