I'm gonna have a badass scar
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
