ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
