We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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