i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
