I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
