birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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