The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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