i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
