Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
