He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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