if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize