mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
