Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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