As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
