People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
