So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
